We recently picked up a sex swing.

When it's spring, and raining, and you've got the day off, there are few better ways to spend it than strapping it on and giving it to the man you love. The incredible song is by Cullah and can be found here: <div><span>Cold Kind of Woman Blues</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/MC_Cullah/">Cullah</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA 4.0</a></div>

So the new D'Angelo came out, his first record in 15 years. Voodoo, his last record, has been Violet's masturbation soundtrack for the last...15 years. We listened to the new record. Violet got inspired.

Not many people think of handjobs in a positive way after college. We move on to blowjobs, to intercourse, to anal, to so many other things. And then we put the handjob on the shelf, reserving it for solo time. Not so fast, we say! After getting some inspiration from another video, we're reclaiming sexy handjobs. The key? LOTS of baby oil and PLENTY of creative hand-y work.rn

Hey, it's been a while. In the time we've been gone, we've moved, started a business, and basically changed everything. But we're back, and happy to be. One of the better life improvements is our fireplace, which is the tits. We hang in front of it a lot. And the hanging leads to... other stuff.

We awoke to a snowy weekend day, and like any good snow day, we could only think of one way to spend the day. HINT: It's fucking. It's totally fucking. As an added bonus, Violet demonstrates what to do when your man comes WAY too quickly.

Rye worked. Violet watched the new Beyoncé videos. Rye got home. Violet was wearing his shirt. She put on red lipstick. Then put that lipstick to the test. On Rye. Thanks Beyoncé. Music: <div xmlns:cc="http://creativecommons.org/ns#" xmlns:dct="http://purl.org/dc/terms/" about="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/Aligned_Archetype/13__Kellee_Maize__Freakuency__Aligned_Archetype__FrostWirecom"><span property="dct:title">Freakuency</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" property="cc:attributionName" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/">Kellee Maize</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/">CC BY 3.0</a></div>

Sometimes you just want to settle in for a little time with the person who knows all your secret buttons -- yourself. That's exactly what Rye does here, and for him, those buttons are EVERYWHERE. This video features an expertly handled cock, a vintage chair, anal stimulation and a bouquet of flowers. Who ever said romance was dead?

After venturing to the Farmers' Market, we decided the best way to spend this unexpectedly chilly day was to be inside. Without clothes. So we picked up a camera and played around until Rye said, "I'm going to eat your pussy until you come, and you film it." And he did. And I did. And then some.

If anal is taboo, then pegging is idiotically so. For us, it's always just been a part of a healthy, happy and hot sex life. Allow us to demonstrate, we think we'll win you over.rn

Rye got Violet a brand new harness, so we had to break it in immediately. The battery ran out on the camera, so we could only capture the first of many orgasms. But what a good orgasm to capture.